FADING AWAY

unknown

2011-01-11T00:39:00.000-08:00

at times i am sick and tired of this.......i am thinking too much even to buy a water also i am thinking whether is it worth it to buy.....live for me has changed very dramatically.....sometimes i don't noe watto do.....pls can send someone to help me..... i shld learn how to say right of their face and especially to our own frenzzzzzzzzzzzz............i am unable to share my feeling and thoughts wif my own frens...one always argue back....one always work and boyfren, one always very tired and doesn't like to go out...........and there goes me who always believe in impossible things... dream as if it will happen.... always lie..... make life difficult for othersssss..... CYBABY i guess there is alot more for me to still learn.....

WILL U EVER NOTICE ME!!!!

2010-10-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

i hv never in my life cried over a guy this badly before!!!!!!! i regret falling for him......he likes my fren, yes i would agree that my fren is pretty but in a know fact that she likes my other fren but the problem is this ppl cannot be together due to age differences but this girlfren is over friendly to all so there are many guys after her.......i am jealous of her... i noe i am being one bitch here!!!! but it hurts alot knowing that he likes ur fren and u pretend not to noe anything or just smiling and laughing....i just don't noe how to describe the pain, the suffering i gg through seriously!!!!!!!................................................life would be much better without falling for this guy bcos its really afftecting my mind and attitude towards ppl......someone pls help me!!!!!

Unhappiness

2010-10-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

so wats the bid deal being in a post/position???? i just don get!!!! Based on my knowledge u hv the authority to give instruction to ppl under u....but mine is different.....ppl has never allow me to make my decision wat ever decision i make ppl tend to doubt it.......sometimes i wonder y i became to this position!!!!! everyday i cry; stress; no life!!!!! even my own frens don listen how can i expect others to listen......in life i hv learnt that even though u r given a position u are a doll that follows the ppl abv u!!!!! this life sux!!!!! hving a fren is like hving a burden.....i hv alwaz respected my frens they are my world but this time i regret!!!!!!!! why can't they just listen to my instruction all i wan is punctuality and respect!!!!

i hate it.........

2009-12-12T03:53:00.000-08:00

ok i noe this guy (P) he started to talk to two weeks ago... talking talking we happen to propose to each other. however we told each other that we are not ready for the relationship... but sometimes i alwaz get confusion by this guy because he will say all sort of things and then says we are going to fast lets slow down... i get irritated..... i mean u see i have never been in relation or what ever shit seriously... so when he saya certain things i would also go with the flow!!!! aiyo this is wat!!! not even in relationship still like not happy with him wat if i go on wif him u think i will be haappy.....no not at all!!!!!!!!! lets wait and seee!!!!!!!!!!

love

2009-12-09T00:36:00.000-08:00

I wonder how it feels to fall in love and pretent not to be ....well i am very good in that i guess because i have aleays to thought i wasn't in love but actually i am...
its just that i am not confident enough to reveal it out.... but i doubt my self whether i really love him or not.....CONFUSION!!!!!CONFUSION!!!
i want to trust my inner feelings but everytime i trust, something or someone would do or say something that would change my perception....
May be i am wrong....Arggggggggggggggggg i hate this man especially guys ah behave very closely and then one point move away........... i hate this type of person!!!!1

Life

2009-12-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

Have u ever run so long that ur knees fell from underneathyou because you were just trying to get away from everything bad in ur life.....

I have always wondered why should i always bahave or talk in a way that it doesn't hurt anyone!!?? was it because am i being afraid that i might be wrong?? or is it because i want to act good infront of pple??!! i hate being like this seriouly..... i am not ME at all, there were times i cry for no reasons ... look like a fool when pple making fun of me....near had the courage to speak up for myself....

confusion

2009-11-29T16:52:00.000-08:00

Ok u see i have already said earlier that i have feeling for this guy...but i think its not wat i think it is because i ddon't seem to miss that person or even bother talking to when he is ard or not.... so basically is just nothing.... and i also noe he is not my Type just like how iam not his.... Isn't it stupid... i have no feeling for any guy... all i have is friends... Ha ha may be i have to wait till i find the guy till then i will focus on my education...

Today i did a presentation... i was not happy because there were ppl who were worried abt what others do or think,,, some didn't even bother just last min do some customization and then wants to present the slides of the others,,, there are pple who talks to me scarctisly and looking down on me.... what type of grp is this???? i am sick and tired of this:(...

I am in a confusion state..... i hope i can find a way out....

Ramdom

2009-11-28T07:05:00.000-08:00

hmmmm i wonder why things happens like this especially when i am involved in it.... i had respect for them but all they had was egoistic.... Whenever something happen we always blame that person of the people ard him... metallic of INDIAN... sometimes i am disgraced to be INDIAN but sometimes i am proud....

Exam are coming its just ard the corner but i am not studying.... i tired but could thoughts are here with me.... they are all flying away frm me.... tearing are the only thing that stays within me now....
i wish i could get out frm this....

After seeing the blog pple are asking whom am i referring to.... I myself do not noe who am i referring to ...... i wish i knew the person...

LOVE

2009-11-27T05:05:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm..... wat shall i say........ i have this "feeling" for this person... but i always denied to everyone that i have no feeling for anyone has they are not handsome or to some friends i give them the wrong idea that i like another person..... but i have a feeling that this "person" noes i like him...... but it is just my illusion i guess..... watever it is i hope he realise it.... i also want to noe whether my feelings are true are its just a infatuation.... hmmmm poly life is a very unique has i get to see and experience alot of things i have never expected or even think abt it....

well lets talk abt this person...
HE is handsome cool and understanding...
But very hot tempered.... scary in certain times and hates him when he gets angry.....
very caring person....

BUT I NOE I WILL NEVER GET TO CLOSE WITH THIS PERSON....=D

yahoooooooooooo!!!!!!!! ha ha ha

2009-08-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today i had lot of fun.... trust me... the one of my most happiess day!!!!
First we went to see teacher in sec school.... the shows ok ok not bad... i love the part where the teachers were singing... very sad... miss all my sec teachers as many transferred and also retired....:(
Then me marini roxanne went to tom yum and chicken rice... very delicious and yummy yummy... hehe after so long eating in that coffee shop....
i meet my others fren Povanes, i love being wif her......
Then again meet up wif marini and roxanne.. hehe we behave like kids buy the "thing" blow to see who can blow big... very funny roxanne balloon stuck wif marini and all fly away...

Then go SP go mob...i happen to see one of my senior hehe he couldn't recognise me so walked away...

WE all go play pool both my frenz taught me how to play its very fun and crazy.... i made alot of funny mistake...
Then My pek Qimei come.... more funny more laughter.....
Then go eat kfc.... wait for boma... then go KTV
Wow soooo bog the SP ktv.... VERY FUNNSIA made alot of video.... crazy if u are interested tell me i show u....

this was a best day.....
hope for the best tmrl....

M@GeS

DayZZZZZ

2009-08-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

Today, i really felt very sad and lonely....
Its like there is nothing in you....
Although i have frenz i still feel very lonely bcos none are very close to me....
I don't really open up my heart to anyone of them

Well i guess its just being me afterall till the end....
Alwaz being alone....
Man i got too used to it....
Funny right!!!???
What to do.... this is life for me...

End of exams......

2009-08-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yea!!! At last all th exams are over!!! i am so happy and glad... although i am not actually...
When i look back i realised that i actually didn't give in my best...All was a last min study..
i hate i noe the answer but not able to explain... i am afraid tat i might need to repeat the module...
Very disappointing.... frustrated over myself.... I still never learnt from my mistake...

Lets end this topic HERE!!..

After my exam i and my others when to plaza sing to meet others fren and from there we went to bugis to breakfest...
Its actually a new experience for me as i never had been there before especially with new frenz...
it was very fun....i really enjoyed being there with them....

It brings back alot of memorizs... me, devi, marini, roxanne, boma and other classmates all eat either at KFC or McDonal... during school days... How i wish i could go back to those times....
I miss all my fenz... i Just don't noe how to say that i miss them.... very pathatic right??!!

Let see what happens.....

NEVER LEARN.....

2009-08-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

As usual i am now doing the last min memorizing....
Soooo many to memorize..... sure gonna fail but i just hope for a C for this module.....
This time i am not prepared for exams....
minds are waving......
Can't momerize much i wish something Happens so i can memoriZe....
Nothing much happened today as uaual.....

Wondering......

2009-08-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm...... Now days i am not being me.... if u see now days i don't really talk to any of my frenz... its like i want to stay all alone without anyones support.... there were countless of days that i thought of committing sucide... but never really had the courage to do sooooo....... CRAZZY
Thinking too much.... may be ..... i am nothing more than a stone without any feeling and emotion.... sometimes i wonder why must i do this not that..... every day a lot question araises in my mind but i don't ask anyone b'cos all they gave is the answers i didn't want to hear.....
Hope tmrl will be a better day......
i shall now leave for examssssss... All the bestzzzzzzzzz

HOME

2009-08-22T00:05:00.000-07:00

After many months later i stayed at home....for whole day...
i realized how much my father is suffering day and night.....
i feel like crying when ever i see him suffer with pain.....
i wish i was able to do something......
I am very scared something will happen.....
I pray to the god for a miracles to happen....

All my relatives are afraid to come to my houses due to the fact that my father have TB.....
I do not understand why they are sooooo afraid that they didn't even enter the house and just see father from outside...... angry and irritated by their way of treating my father...

hope for the bestzzzzzz.....

Study Group

2009-08-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Well this was my first time studying as a group with my poly frens. Its was not like i imagine - like talking, playing etc. They really forcus in their studies. Although there were times we chit-chat... to tell the truth i am not forcusing in my studies now days. I keep day dreaming, playing watching videos.... i am too scared how i am going to manage my studies frm now onwards.... is it too late to regret now?? i wonder.....

There were times i cried for no reason, smiled for no reason scolding my frens for no reason... i think i am going crazy.....

But i am will still study and do my best in my coming exams....

Hope the bestzzzzzzz........M@GeS